Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
did i just pee glitter
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
