I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
