my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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