Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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