Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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