I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
