Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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