I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's never too late to be topless.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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