I wanna bring you to show and tell
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
