We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
