Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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