Your face is a jimmy john
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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