Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
