YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
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He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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