"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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