Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
