Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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