it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize