And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
