She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
