Jerry, you need to find god
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
