Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
