You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
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I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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