its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize