Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
