Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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