I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
