You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
