dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize