how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
