you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
