He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
