So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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