C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
