When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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