Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
