Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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