You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
