One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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