my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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