I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
