I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I checked into jail on foursquare
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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