please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have demons in me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
