Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
