it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
