thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
