At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
