I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
