Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
