Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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