My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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