nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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