The best revenge is premature balding
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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