Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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