jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize