so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
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We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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