there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
