he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
