i permit you to call me
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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