i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize