Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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