so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
