nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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