At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
